Frodo has a Sleepover!
by chocoholic1
Summary: God, I promised myself I would never post this. But it is RANDOMALLY funny, particularily for someone who is VERY bad at writing humor fic! ENJOY!
1. The one with Orange juice, ice cream and...

Frodo has a Sleepover!  
  
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A long, long, long (Okay, maybe not that long) time before the War Of The Ring, Frodo was sitting in Bag End blinking his huge luminous blue eyes. His thoughts were along the lines of 'My eyes are pretty and big and blue!' and 'blink'.  
  
Then, suddenly, a thought popped into his head, like something popping into a big empty space with pretty blue windows.   
'What would happen if I mixed ice cream with orange juice and icing sugar?'  
  
His Uncle Bilbo was asleep as it was about 8 o'clock and he was feeling lazy. So there was noone to stop him as Frodo went into the kitchen to produce the deadly concoction. For it was deadly, as anyone who has ever tried it will know... symptoms range from strange urges to kiss strangers to complete and utter hyperness. Which, for a tweenage hobbit (or a fanfic writer) is very dangerous.   
  
As soon as the elixir passed his lips, Frodo felt an amazing happiness fill him. Unfortunately it was accompanied by an incredible urge to warn people about the squirrels that would take over the world.  
  
So off he skipped to 3 Bag Shot Row where Sam lived. He found an axe on the floor, smashed it through the door and screamed, "Heeeeere's FRODO!"   
Obviously the Gamgees were a little scared and so when Frodo asked if Sam could come to his house the agreed immediately (not really being that fond of Sam because he was to fat to fit in the smial and had to stay in the yard.)  
  
"So, begging your pardon, Mr.Frodo, what is this, like a sleepover?" Sam asked, happy to have found a friend.   
  
"Yes, yes, yes! A sleepover, yeees.... He! He! He!" Frodo gibbered whilst encouraging Sam to link him and skip.   
  
So they skip-linked back up to Bag End, and would have gone undiscovered if Frodo hadn't had the idea of playing the "Let'sSmashBottlesAgainstAWall" game.  
  
"FRODO SARAH-JANE BAGGINS!" Bilbo yelled. "What in middle earth are you doing?!"  
  
"Sleepover Uncle!" Frodo said in a high-pitched voice, "Wait... YOU'RE NOT MY UNCLE!!!!"  
  
"Hee hee, you're middle name's Sarah Jane?!" Sam whispered.  
Frodo then told Sam that he wasn't his uncle either, and jumped out the window to find somebody who WAS.   
  
  
Sam and Bilbo stood uncomfortably for a second, until Bilbo said, "Would you like to play, 'Shit Head'?"  
  
Sam looked puzzled and said, "What is it, Master Baggins?"  
  
"It's like snap, but instead of screaming 'snap!' you scream 'shit head!'."  
  
"Ooooo... OK!"  
  
  
  
DID Frodo find someone who was his Uncle???????  
WHERE did Frodo find the ice cream??????   
WHO will win the game of 'Shit head'??????  
WHAT will happen next????????  
WHY is Chocoholic doing this???????  
  
  
ALL SHALL BE REVEALED IN *MYSTICAL EYEBROWS* CHAPTER TWO...! 


	2. The One With Merry And Pippin And Not Mu...

Frodo Has A Sleepover!  
  
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After Frodo jumped out the window and rolled down the hill, he continued skipping until he bumped into someone.  
  
"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Screamed Merry, who was angry at the author for plucking him out of Buckland and placing him just outside Bag End for story purposes.  
  
"Are you my uncle?" Asked Frodo, blinking his lovely, gorgeous, big enough to drown in, beautiful eyes innocently.  
  
"No, I'm you're cousin you fool!" Merry yelled, ignoring Frodo's brilliant eyes, which is very hard to do, especially at night when they glow.  
  
"You ARE my uncle!" Frodo screamed happily and gave Merry a big bear hug, which he did not appreciate.   
  
"GET OFF ME! HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?!" Merry yelled because he was still angry and determined to stay that way for the rest of the fic. "BILBO'S YOUR UNCLE, GO BOTHER HIM!"  
  
So Merry stumbled all the way back to Bag End with Frodo attached to his waist. But when he got to the steps he tripped over another hobbit that was sitting on them.  
  
"Pippin?" Frodo asked and hugged him with one arm because he didn't want to detach himself from Merry.   
  
"What are YOU doing here?!" Merry said, angrily.  
  
"Sitting." Pippin said, "Don't you know I do this every night?"  
  
Frodo and Merry exchanged confused (and in Merry's case, angry) glances.   
  
"You're supposed to be in Took Land!!!!" Merry said, angrily.  
  
"I am in Took Land."   
  
The other hobbits decided to ignore that remark, but then he continued, "Did you ever notice how much Took Land sounds like Scotland?"  
  
"What's Scottleand?" asked Merry.  
  
Pippin looked panicked, "What! I didn't say anything about Scotland!" He looked nervously around, "Please don't let the Professor get me!"  
  
Merry looked from Frodo to Pippin. And from Pippin back to Frodo. He was having serious doubts that he wasn't adopted, or that both his cousins hadn't been swapped at birth. Both situations were quite pleasing to Merry, and so he got slightly less angry.  
"So what have you been doing, cousin Frodo?" He asked, secretly meaning ' what have you been taking, cousin Frodo?'   
  
"Sleepover!" yelled Frodo uncharacteristically happily, "And both of you have to come!"  
  
Pippin just wanted to get inside, and Merry had cheered up at the thought of not being related to the other two, so they both agreed.  
  
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If they had arrived five minutes sooner, however, they wouldn't even have tried to go back into Bag End, as they would have heard the shouts of "SHITHEAD!!" and "CHEATER!!" before they even got to the door, when they would have been flattened by Sam being thrown out by Dear Uncle Bilbo.  
  
As it was though, they just saw Sam lying rubbing his head and Bilbo denying everything about gambling and beating Sam up to the healer.  
  
"Let's have my sleepover at Brandy Hall!" cried Frodo.  
  
(Well he actually cried, "SLEEPOVER!!! HALL!! BRANDY!!!" But it was assumed that this was what he meant.)  
  
  
WILL the hobbits make it to Brandy Hall?  
WHERE the heck is this story going?  
ARE any of you finding this funny?  
REVIEW or Sam gets more fat jokes!  
  
Lotsa luv Chocoholic. 


	3. The one with quoting from random things

FRODO HAS A SLEEPOVER!!!!!  
  
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The Elusive Chapter THREE!  
  
  
  
  
  
"I don't understand, though!" Merry shouted, frowning heavily. "It takes at least a DAY to get to Brandy hall. How are we supposed to get there tonight??"  
  
Frodo stopped walking and looked at Merry in dismay, "Shut uu-up!!!" he whined. Then he sat down on the floor with his head in his hands.  
  
Pippin looked at Merry, "Erm, is he laughing or crying?"  
  
"I don't know and I don't care, just get an arm." Merry said, and so they dragged a hysterical Frodo along the road to Buckland.   
  
Suddenly they were stopped in their tracks by something they had never seen before, and Merry nearly stopped looking angry! It was a huge hunk of armour, painted red like blood, and with huge glass eyes surrounding it, and a hand painted sign lying next to it saying 'Ford Escort.'  
"Ah, they have a lot of these in Scotland." Said Pippin.   
  
& The author winks, got outta that one pretty good didn't I, MERRY?! &  
  
So they piled in, Pippin at the wheel, Merry in the passenger seat and Frodo clinging to the bonnet since they couldn't get any of the other doors open. He wouldn't have minded this particularly five minutes ago, but unfortunately the hyperness had left him suddenly and he was now quickly loosing the will to live.   
  
"Need... more... ice-cream, sugar, and orange juice..." he cried, weakly, as Pippin put his foot down screaming, "THEY C'N TEK OWR LIVES, BUT THE CANNAE TEK OWR FREEDOM!"  
  
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Making yet another quick plot line change back to Bag End, Bilbo was still arguing with the healer, whilst Sam lay on the dining room table. (Well it was actually two dining room tables pushed together and even then there was a bit of overhang.)   
  
"Listen, I swear we were playing with toffees!" Bilbo said, wringing his hands, "And is it really my fault the boy hit his head on the way in??"   
  
"Well, you see Mr. Baggins, I don't believe that's what really happened, now do you?" The healer hooked his thumbs in his waistband and raised his eyebrows looking at Bilbo.  
  
"Well, I don't see what it has to do with you anyway! Y-you're a healer not a bounder!"  
  
The healer strode towards him menacingly. "Well, that's the thing you see, Mr. Baggins, I'm actually detective Jack Frost!" He cried, hurling his stethoscope to the floor.   
  
Bilbo squinted up at him, "Aren't you that guy from 'Only Fools And Horses?'"  
  
David Jason, I mean, the detective ignored that realising any who doesn't watch Brit comedy won't get that and said, "And I don't think it was an accident, I think it was someone he knew! Someone in this room!" He looked at Bilbo again. Hard.  
Bilbo shifted his eyes.  
  
The detective adjusted his fake fur coat and fake gold jewellery and said, "That's it Mr. Baggins, occupation burglar, you are herewith arrested for gambling, hitting a fat hobbit and basically being a PLONKER. You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence... You know the drill. "  
He motioned commandingly at Sam, "C'mon now, Rodney, let's get back the van's outside!"  
  
But Sam, just at that moment, had begun to feel a strange feeling, like something was calling him! Something tall and pale and with huge, huge blue eyes! He shivered, sat up and cried, "MR. FRODO NEEDS ME!" and ran out the door (carefully) with the orange juice, icing sugar and ice-cream.  
  
"I'm a-coming Mr. Frodo!" he shouted.  
  
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Back in the Ford Escort the hobbits were being relatively quiet and un-hyper. Mainly because Pippin couldn't really see past Frodo (still hanging onto the windshield) to drive. Frodo was too worried to talk (back to his usual self, eh?) and Merry was still angry.  
  
But suddenly Merry broke the silence and said, "Oh. By the way. Chocoholic does not own LOTRs, nor any of the other copyrighted material she has mentioned. Chocoholic forgot to say this before and is lucky not to have been sued."  
  
Pippin stared at him.  
  
"Also Chocoholic PROMISES that next chapter we will get to the sleepover."  
  
Pippin nodded slowly. "Well that's a good thing I guess."  
  
"I was thinking that," Merry said, "But just what sort of a sleepover is this crazy author planning?!"  
  
DUN DUN DUUUN.  
  
WILL Sam get to Frodo with the hyper making ingredients in time????  
WHO will make the next guest appearance???  
WILL Chocoholic keep her promise??? (no. heh heh heh.)  
DOES this fic make any sense at all????  
PLEASE review, hope you liked it! (Though you won't have done.. seeing as it was crap...)  
  
  
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Sorry about the Sam Fat Jokes, Katherine... Son Akoya and Day dream TOLD me to!!! I don't make the rules.   
  
Legolaslover2003, he he great minds think alike I've already used that line in my songs of the rings fic. Weird! Maybe Lego'll be in next chapter. :D  
  
  
Ta very much every1 who reviewed! Was gonna write thanks 2 u all but couldn't be bothered. I'm mean like that. Please keep reading. 


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